he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
