How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
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