He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I have aggressive nipples.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
