What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Everclear isn't food dammit
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
