I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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