He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
