She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
