VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
