So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
