So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
