i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
