She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are we still banned from the library?
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize