I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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