So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
