I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize