I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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