it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
The police scanner is talking about you again....
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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