hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
