I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
