I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Randomize