i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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