How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
