then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
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