Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
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I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
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You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
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