i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
