haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize