Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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