it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
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