No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
