i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
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Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
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I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
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