is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
