she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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