so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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