It's Friday. Sex?
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
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