just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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