I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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