Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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