did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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