I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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