just come out here and I will go home with you...
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
She bit a glass in half.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
