Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Come see our sink grown plant.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Randomize
