if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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