so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
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Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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