I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
please come you make the beer taste better
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
