My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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