My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
