We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize