so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
