The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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