Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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