3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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