Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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