so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
