she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
