it wasn't lemon gatorade
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I have so many feelings about this burrito
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
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