I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
