could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
