Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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