Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
