alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage