Having a random hookup so left but love u
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.