is your mom at the bar?
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
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She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
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This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy