I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?