last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
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At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
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Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine